Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
