Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You dont lie about slip and slides
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
