I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize