Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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