we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
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Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize