I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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