I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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