Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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