The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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