chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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