If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize