i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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