the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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