You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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