Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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