coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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