"it" just moved
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
