yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
