physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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