You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
