Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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