Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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