I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
