I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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