I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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