I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
