You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
