the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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