Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
