Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
