Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
