My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
