The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
