used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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