..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
