That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
