I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
