Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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