well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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