brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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