I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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