I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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