My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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