fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
