What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
should my penis look like a turkey
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
