i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
