It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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