if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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