If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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