I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
