i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize