I need to stop coming to work sober
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
