thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
