you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
