have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
