You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
