just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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