If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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