Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
