waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
