She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
