I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
