it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
