you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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