How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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