we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
