I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
