can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You don't make any sense
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