just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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