Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
