1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
